Funnies to make you laugh !!

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. I tried it once - The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13 Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.


Enjoy ! (and feel free to share!)

The New Additions

We have a couple of additions to our household ... 2 budgies. Andy's sisters birds have laid 3 clutches of eggs in the last 8 months or so (which is very unusual - apparently they are only supposed to have no more than 2 per year), and they've had roughly 8 eggs hatch. Well 2 of those little 'eggies' are now ours !

They are harlequins, which mean they are mostly white, with little touches of blue and some black. They are gorgeous! And since they have been handled since they were hatched, they are as tame as anything.

Kokyto (ko-kee-to) is the one on the left with the little blue dot on his face and the white tail. His name is Spanish for "little nut". His birthday is Dec. 10. Noel is on the right, and since he hatched first (on Dec.8) he got the Christmas name. He likes to sit on his mineral block on the side of the cage and have his tummy scratched. Their favorite treats are apples, bananas, and kiwi.

We were a little worried about Artemis when we brought them home, but he just sniffed and the cage and went for a nap. He visits my sisters birds all the time, so he's used to them, and they don't really seem too concerned with him either. Once he gets a nibble on the nose, I think that will be the end of it. Of course I hope I'm not at work when that happens ... I have visions of the cage being on the floor, and the birds flying around the house.

Ah, well. When we were at the pet store buying our supplies, we were looking at the birds they had, Lisa has her eye on a beautiful yellow Cockatiel. I mainly had my eye on the price tag on the side of the cage. Needless to say, we have no cockatiel at home. They also had fancy canaries, that were more orange than yellow. They were so unusual! Anthony has his eye on the hamsters. Ever since my sister had one, he wants one. She also has a couple of hermit crabs and a fish tank. We could call it all our menagerie. LOL. I don't think Dad is too fond of the idea though .....

After the Party ....

Lisa's a BIG Harry Potter fan, so that's what we got on her cake. It was good too! White cake with a lemon filling ..... yummy! We always get cakes from Safeway, they are the best.

We also fired up the barbeque for lunch. Our weather has been so mild lately, we were able to keep the balcony door open, and run in and out. We did smokies and hamburgers, a treat from the usual pizza the kids always ask for on their birthdays.

Then we put the candles on for Lisa to blow out. They spelled out "Happy Birthday" and just by coincindence, they totalled 13 letters! She only blew out 5 though, and the girls were teasing her about her 8 boyfriends.

Then she was ripping into presents like there's no tomorrow. She got some more makeup (she's going to have to start her own band to use it all), some movies from Anthony and Emily, and a DVD player from us. Now we'll never see her. LOL. Boxing Day sales are sure a good way to safe on some things.

The kids are still off school until the 9th. Man we NEVER got holidays like they do now. But then they run right until the end of june, which we never did. Give and take I guess.

The next birthday coming up now is Andy's in February. He'll be old. Oops, I mean 43. We got him a Sponge Bob cake when he turned 40, it was hilarious! We'll have to see what we can come up with this year. I should let Anthony pick it out again.

Here are the girls, from Left to right: Erin, Marisa, Nikki, Lisa and Kayla. They could be the next Original "Motley Crue". LOL.

Everyone left around 3pm, and quiet was restored ... until we turned up the tunes on the computer. :-)

Later !

Happy New Year !!!

Wow ... another year gone .... Poof! Just like that. And what a year it was. We took holidays in the summer and went to Vancouver, then camped with Andy's brother in Hope, BC., Anthony finished first grade and started 2nd in September, Lisa's into Grade 8, and today is 13 years old ! Happy Birthday Babydoll! (I'm not old enough to have a 13 year old!)

I always tell her for her birthday she gets a whole new year to do what ever she wants. I'm trying to get her to write in a journal all of the things that stand out, so she can look back and see exactly what happened in the year. I'm going to start one too I think. I usually keep the first couple of pages of the newspaper for her baby book anyway, she she always has the headlines and knows who the first baby of the year is. I've done this for Anthony too .. it's a nice reminder of how things change.

What else happened this year ? The Eskimos are Grey Cup Champs (!), Hockey is Back in town, and I just bought out the lease on my car. Now its officially mine. Yay! Work is still the same, hopefully 2006 will bring new challenges and responsibilities. My anniversary date is April 25, and this will be year #7. The longest I was ever at a job before this one was 5 years, and that was exactly 4 and 1/2 years too long ... LOL.

Oh well .. Lisa is having a sleepover for her birthday. She invited Erin, Nikki, Kayla and Marisa. They're all still sleeping ... bodies everywhere ... sleeping bags all over the living room floor. It's cute. That and potato chip bags, and empty bottles of pop ... you get the idea. I'll have to wake them soon to get tidied up, but until now they're QUIET and that's the main thing.

Talk to you after the party .... :-)

Wow I'm so bad at this ....

Well .... hmmmm .... since the last update things have been totally Chaotic. With finishing the details for the Christmas parties at work, to finishing the last of my own shopping for the family, It's been a zoo. I also renewed the lease on my car, and am hosting Christmas dinner for the in-laws. Plus the stress at work .... LOL ... do I sound like I'm complaining ?? I'm really not ....

We did some last minute shopping on Friday (since it was payday) and got the kids some pj's and stuff. I had to buy for Andy since I hadn't yet (!). Stops included Wal-Mart, Staples, Second Cup and Best Buy. We even got Santa his favorite cookies - Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip. He left us a letter one year saying those were his favorites.

We also had to leave some carrots for the reindeer. Santa always comes in on our balcony and then does the rest of the apartments before going on to the next house. The kids were too excited to sleep, but they got there eventually. I went over to my Mom's for her usual Christmas phone call home. She's from Belfast so its always Christmas morning when she calls. My Uncle answered the phone .. he's been ill but has been feeling better, and it was good to hear his voice sounding so strong. He's going to be 82 in April. My Aunt's birthday is tomorrow - Boxing Day. She'll be 81 I believe. It's also their 58th Wedding Anniversary ! My Uncle always said it was easier to remember one date than two. LOL. I wish we could be there to help them celebrate. One year we will be.

Lisa was actually up before Anthony this morning ! Usually she sleeps in until we hav e to go wake her, but she surprised us this year. She got a ton of makeup under the tree ... and she said it'll last her roughly 2 weeks. Does she wear a lot ?? I'm starting to wonder. LOL. Anthony got army men, and cars. I'll be stepping on those for the next month. Andy got a game cube from his friend, and lots of new clothes since he's lost so much weight. I got Angels from my mom and sister, and from the kids. I love them because just looking at them brings me peace. Sounds corny I know, but it helps me focus on my family more, and the stress in my life less.

I'm just putting my turkey in the oven as I type this, I had a few minutes to kill and thought I sshould update. From our family to yours: A Happy Christmas and All the best for 2006 !!

More to come later !!!

Update .....

YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!! THEY DID IT !!! THEY WON THE GREY CUP !!! OMG what a game !! I have NEVER seen a game like that !! Final score 38-35 Eskimos Over Montreal. WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO !!!

It's been a couple of days since THE BIG GAME and things have calmed down a little. My voice has returned (which is a good thing - makes it easier to talk on the phone) and the victory parades and everything have happened. The pic at the left is my new screen saver ... isn't it great ?? I'm off tomorrow and I heard on the radio today the Esks will be at a radio station here in town with the cup. I might have to go get another picture of it. I took one the last time the Esks won it ... it looks awesome !!!

I have it printed and hanging on my freezer at home. It's sad to see that Jason Maas is probably going to be traded to Hamilton though. He makes his home in Sherwood Park, and on more than one occasion he's popped into the store to pick up a few things. He's a nice guy too.

Ah well ... that's my sports rant for now. Want to hear about my Hockey Pool entry ?? No ? It's pretty bad ... LOL. I'm about 8299 of 8300 right now. But I know its going to turn around ... yeah right. It's all in fun though.

Auntie Carrie said I should put some Christmas jokes on here so here are a couple I've been telling at work:

What does Santa call his Elves? Subordinate Clauses

Why is Santa so Jolly? He knows where all the bad girls live. LOL.

Oh oh ... the girl child is asking if we can do 3-way calling on our phone ..... I'm afraid. She's rehearsing her lines for the Christmas concert and its quite interesting. She's supposed to be playing an 8-year old girl. I told her that should be no problem. She's 12. LOL. Oh look, the evil eye. I haven't seen that for at least half an hour. A new world record.

More to follow .......

Where oh Where Can my blog be .....

It's been an interesting weekend so far. I can't seem to update my halloween pictures on here for some reason. I did promise to post them when I took them, and they are on my system, but I keep getting wierd error messages. They will have to wait I guess. Yesterday we went to the flea market. No big deal, right? Andy was talking to the guy that sells his video games for him. Anthony and I waited in the van for him to come back out, he said he was only going to be a few minutes. When he came back out we figured we would head to Wal Mart.

As we were driving west on 111 Avenue, our tire sensor clicked on. Man I love our van. So we pulled over at 158 Street (by the Fountain tire, which was CLOSED - and you'll see why I say that in a minute ...) and Andy got out to check the tire. Lo and behold, it was FLAT. There was a little piece of metal sticking out of a tread, but it didn't look like anything really bad. Having a flat tire by a tire shop, is a wonderful piece of luck. Of course when that tire shop is CLOSED it turns out to be pretty ironic.

Some guy in an office that was right next to where we stopped probably got a kick out of it. He kept looking at us and shaking his head. So we took down the spare, and called AMA to come and change our tire. This was shortly after 11 am. The dispatcher said they were sending out a truck, and it could be anywhere between 15 minutes and an hour to show up. Just after 12 the truck showed up. We had our tire changed and were off to get a patch for our tire.

We went to Costco, because they are pretty reasonable about fixing flats. The little piece of metal in our tire turned out to be a blade from an exacto knife, roughly 3" long, that sliced through the tread and cut into the sidewall of the tire. "Looks like you'll have to buy a new tire Ma'am." God I hate it when people call me ma'am.

All right, so it's a new tire. No big deal. Oh but wait, you can't buy just one ..... Something about how the tire wears, and it can affect the brakes, you need 2 new tires. On the second day of Christmas, my hubby bought for me .... Of course the tires I picked out were deemed "not very good for ice/snow conditions", if you get these ones you'll get more out of them. "These" ones came to $250.63. How long until we're on our way again? "Roughly 2 hours ma'am. It's pretty busy today."

So we had a look around Costco, and then called my sister to come and get us. It's getting to be late afternoon by this time think 3pm. At 4:30 we went back to Costco and picked up our van. They were supposed to give us back the other tire (which will be our new spare), but they didn't. Looks like we have to go back. Great.

In the evening we decided to take the kids to go see the new Harry Potter movie. It was pretty good. Unless you've read the book, the stuff at the beginning doesn't make much sense. I won't tell you about it, just that you have to go see it for yourself.

Sunday (so far) has started out pretty good. Its Grey Cup day ... wooooo hooooo ! The pot of chili is cooking on the stove, and the beer is cooling nicely in the fridge. I'm all set. Andy's heading out, I'm not sure he'll be back before the game starts or not. He's the sports widow at my house. More to come after the game -- GO ESKIES !!!

Finally ... An Update ...

Wow, I really keep this up don't I ??? I owe Auntie Carrie Halloween Pics (which I will post tomorrow, since its sooooo late ... ), and I have to tell you that procrastination is not always a good thing. I procrastinated so long with halloween for example, that we missed out on getting a pumpkin! I was going to take the kids to the Kids Workshop at the store (where they were carving ... you guessed it ... PUMPKINS!), but we didn't make it there either. Lisa was a vampiress and Anthony was a Policeman. They looked great ... and got lots of treats. (That I have since stashed in my house, because they are sweet enough already).

So here it is, just before the full moon (moo-ooo-ooo-n), and things are interesting to say the least. Man you just have to wonder what rocks people crawl out from under. And the stories people tell you ! Everyday is a new adventure. I think I want to sleep until the full moon (moo-ooo-ooo-n) is over. (Anthony's watching me type ... "Mom are you doing that blog thing again ?") Yes Anthony, I am doing the blog thing again. I was just on a cool website, and they said it's 43 days until Christmas. I can't believe this year is gone. Time really does go faster when you get older.

So ... what else is new. Hmmmmm. The lease on my car is almost up. Yay! Then I will own my car! Oh, and I've decided that I'm going to win the lottery. I didn't win anything on my Dream Home ticket, or my bingo cards, so the lottery is my next big thing. (Don't I wish.)

Tomorrows an early day at work, so I won't stay on much longer, but will definitely update this when I get home. (Yes ... and post some pictures ... !!)

A Lazy Sunday at home ...

So here it is ... the second blog in as many days. The tunes are on, Nascar's on TV and the kids are looking for something for breakfast. I've even had a phone call from work already! Go Figure. I don't have any plans for today .. do some surfing, do some baking - Oh hey that reminds me ... we're having a bake sale at work next weekend ... I should get some stuff ready for that. I said I was going to make some pies, maybe apple, maybe lemon meringue ... We'll see what we end up with.

Anthony's here at my elbow .. "Mom what's blog ?" .. I told him it's like a running commentary on what you do in a day. "Why would anyone else want to know that Mom ?" Good question Anthony ... maybe I'll be able to figure out an answer one day. LOL. (At least he's not asking why the sky is blue ...).

We have pumpkins to carve today too. We're doing a skull and crossbones one. It should turn out good. We just have to make the pattern big enough to fit.
It's going to look (hopefully) like that picture right there. It looks simple enough to do ... no wierd little cuts or anything. More to follow later ... :-)

We Are Blog ! Finally .....

..... A blog name that wasn't chosen by someone else! When they said get creative they weren't kidding. So welcome to our blog. We now have one of these because I wanted to reply to Carrie and Bryan's (kind of like a package deal - :-) .. ). I think this will be kind of fun actually. Getting someone to actually read it will be the challenging part. And the fact that it's testing my typing should prove to be interesting as well. You should see some of the stuff I put on the computer at work .. !

It's a little late in the evening, and I have to turn the clock back an hour before I go to bed. Hey does that mean I can stay on the computer for an extra hour ?? Like a deja-vu thing ? No ? LOL. I spend enough time on computers in a day .. what am I thinking ??

Friday afternoon was a riot at work. Silly putty and the word "dick" do NOT belong at the workplace. Use your imagination ... yeah that's pretty much what it was like. LOL. Sometimes you just have to be a little crazy. Then again, somewhere in this world a full moon was smiling down on us. Yeah .. that's my story. I'll finish turning all my clocks back, and update this tomorrow. Oh yeah, I have to reply to Carrie's blog ....